Reimagining Silence
by LoreoftheFaye
Summary: One shot re-imaging the scene in the rain from episode 25.


Something about the pounding rain made L feel like everything was in place with the world. It wasn't so much that he believed he could be cleansed by it in any spiritual sense, but the act of listening to the rain with the sounds of life all around him made him feel as close to spiritual as he could be. Right now, just below the rhythmic pulse of the rain, church bells chimed their song and it drifted through the distance to sing for him. It was heavenly.

After a moment he could feel himself being watched and suspected, before he turned to confirm, that Light had come looking for him. He turned, feeling the water sliding down his face in steady rivulets and not caring about it. Sure enough, Light was there looking at him and seemed as if he didn't know what to make of him standing there in the rain looking as he did. Light called out to him, but he pretended as if he couldn't hear him over the storm. The brown haired boy tried again and he only smiled, pressing a hand behind his ear. After a moment and what L suspected was a sigh, the other consented to come out into the rain and was immediately as drenched as the raven haired boy.

"Can you hear them?" he asked softly of his companion

"What, Ryuzaki? I don't hear anything."

"The church bells ringing in the distance. They're quite lovely."

"You're going to get sick if you keep standing out here in the cold."

"Perhaps," He admitted to the other, "but isn't a little risk worth a few moments of peace?"

Peace. A simple enough word and something the brown haired boy hadn't felt since the hunt for Kira began. It was pretty much assumed that he'd exchanged peace in order to be a god. In his heart, he assumed the deal to be a fair trade but in moments like this, watching his enemy be at peace, he wasn't so sure.

"I admire you, Ryuzaki." He admitted aloud. "I'm glad you let me assist in the investigation of Kira."

"I believe you." The ebony haired boy responded evenly. "But I don't always believe your motives are as pure as you'd like them to appear."

The other boy rolled his eyes, visibly disgusted. A real gesture or a good ruse the other deduced before Light spoke. "You still believe I could be Kira, then?"

"I do. But it's only a small chance." He calculated the odds quickly. "A mere 17 percent chance."

"What do I have to do to prove to you I can't be Kira?" the other burst out in frustration, throwing his hands in the air. He turned his back on the other and paced a few steps forward.

"Your disguise is very convincing, Light, if that means anything to you. If you are Kira, I'd be surprised. But, as simple as it is, everyone lies."

"Yes, they do, but some lies are necessary."

"I find it difficult to believe that deception is a necessary part of life."

"So you've never lied to spare someone's feelings?"

_Yes._ "No."

"Not even once to someone you cared about?"

"In my position, Light, I've found caring about people to be a liability."

"You don't care about Watari?"

_Yes._ "No. At least, not to a point where I'd do something foolish for him."

They really were two similar creatures at the deepest core. Both brilliant and cut off from the world they walked through. Light admired L, he wasn't lying when he said so. In fact, as far as that went, Light could only say he felt close to the boy standing before him because he was the only one that had ever come against Light and won a few battles. As far as personal relationships and human attraction went, he wanted L for however brief a time they had left. He was, after all, determined not to lose the war.

"Ryuzaki, do you ever feel empty that you can't get close to anyone?"

The other blinked in surprise. The question was something softer than the metal he saw beneath Light's exterior. He pondered the merit of the question but in the end he answered it as honestly as it was asked.

"Sometimes I wonder if personal relationships are worth the cost but never enough to take the chance."

Light nodded, understanding. He kept a distance from people for the same reasons, distraction and risk. He allowed people to get close to him but never allowed himself to get close to another. He stepped closer to L, one small step, a first step. He took a deep breath and watched the exhalation come out as mist to get swept away into the rainstorm.

They were both soaked to the skin, Light's school shirt clinging to him like a second skin, showing the body he took pride in. L looked much the same, but with a softer, rounder quality to him. He took a step closer to the other, looking at the brown haired boy from beneath his mane of black bangs. Something magnetic was building in the air, closing the distance between them. Now they stood toe to toe, looking at one another in the silence around them. The white noise of the rain washed away thoughts of death and life.

"Do you still hear the bells?" Light asked softly.

There was a moment of silence hanging in the air between them before Light reached down and took L's lips with his own, tasting the rainwater and the sweet taste of his mouth. The ebony haired boy only resisted a moment for giving in. They clung to each other in the dull gray morning, feeling close to someone for the first time since the Kira case began. They wanted this, both needed this feeling to last between them: to feel as if they were capable still of feeling anything. As long as the kiss lasted, deepening and lessening like the storm around them, they both felt like something was still normal despite the circumstances between them. The kiss pushed away the monotonous moments between the then to the now in one glorious blast of color and heat.

L's mind swam, unable to focus on anything logical and when he tried he could only see things in the abstract, as oddly shaped colors and liquid sinews of thought. He was a child prodigy, for God's sake. From infancy he'd been closed off and taught those things he was to be defined by. He was always in competitive rivalry with someone new. He never knew a moment where his mind wasn't engaged in some sort of struggle with another enigma to solve. In this moment, watching the strand of thought materialize in a shining red thread weaving its way around them, he felt a blissful calm descend.

The moment passed as quickly as it came over them and Light tore himself away with a burst of strength, wrenching the vulnerability away from him in the form of another person. There was no room in this world for someone who was so like him and so unlike him in the same breath. No room at all for someone who could make him feel this exposed and vulnerable. No room for someone to compete with on this level, someone he could hate and admire at the same time. This silence only steeled his resolve, the same goal he'd had from the very beginning. Rid the world of those who would commit crimes, become a God of the new order.

Kill L.


End file.
